Downfall
by Rosemariewriter98
Summary: Takes place at the end of Shadowkiss. Dimitri isn't turned Strigoi. But what if Christian doesn't make it back from the rescue mission. Rose has failed him, and more importantly she's failed Lissa. Join Rose, Lissa and Dimitri as they hunt down Christian to save his soul. My first story! Please give it a try, thanks! Some sections will be marked for M rated scenes ;)
1. Chapter 1: My fault

_Hi guys! This is my first story so pleeeease R&R! I would love any type of feedback! I hope you enjoy it! Also if you have any stories that you would like see come to life but don't have the time to write them or something just message me and I would love to try and write them for you! And if you have a story that you wrote and want me to check it out totally tell me and I will! I'm really passionate about writing and books, especially the Vampire Academy! Enjoy! _

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy or any of its characters...Although I do wish I owned Dimitri ;)**

Downfall

The caves were a good twenty-minute run from the academy and my legs ached more, and more with each step. The Academy had gone under a Strigoi attack, and seven other guardians and I were on our way back from a rescue mission. I don't know if you would qualify it as successful, considering we had left with thirteen guardians and only returned with seven. Nevertheless, it did not matter. _They come first. _

"The gates! Up ahead!" I guess Stan found it necessary to alert us of the obvious, massive gates looming ahead of us. I heard Dimitri scoff next to me. I glanced up at his smirking, _drop dead gorgeous_ lips.

"What?" I asked innocently, which just got more of a smile out of him. I lived for those smiles that light up his face; he made me feel like a giddy thirteen-year-old when I broke through his hard exterior. He only answered my question with a quick dart of his eyes towards a gasping for air, noodled legged Stan. I giggled and stopped abruptly when I noticed the gates only a few feet from me. Maybe I did need Stan to point out the obvious, especially when I had my Russian god distracting me.

Once we were all inside the safety of the gates wards, Alberta took no hesitation in reminding us all that we had not come back with everyone we had originally left with.

"I need volunteers to collect bodies tomorrow. We will need to leave at dawn, no need to waste time - we still might be able to save a few," she added gravely. I could tell by the looks on everyone's faces that they doubted there would be anyone left to save.

I shifted my weight towards Dimitri and whispered, "Is it true? Can we still save them?" He looked down at me, pensive.

"I…I don't know Roza." Doubt dripped off his words, but I could not let that stop me from hoping, hoping to save at least one guardian that had given up their life to save a Moroi. Dimitri sensed what I was going to do before I even had the chance to launch my hand into the air.

"Rose, _no-"_

"I want to help." Alberta looked at Dimitri's malaise expression and me curiously.

"I believe you've been through enough these past couple of days, Miss Hathaway. You do not need to see guardians in – in a state of such decimation." _No, _I have _not _just proved myself far beyond my years, to be stripped down to a seventeen-year-old novice, again.

"I agree, Guardian Petrov. Rose does not need to be subjected to seeing her superior's dead." _Ouch. _I had gathered from Dimitri's earlier attempt at masking my volunteering hand that he didn't want me going back to the caves but I definitely didn't expect him to openly try to stop me. However, before I could get my arguments about this stupidity out, my mother beat me to it.

"I see no reason, or proof as to why Rose cannot be _subjected to such decimation,_" was that sarcasm I heard in my mother's voice? "All she has done in the past twenty fours is prove that she is more than capable of handling anything an official guardian can." I was astonished. Janine has been known to be terse, and she was especially known for not coming to my side to help my case.

Alberta looked doubtful. I could see her deciding if keeping a student safe was worth going against the arguments of Rose and Janine Hathaway. Our steely looks paid off when Alberta finally sighed in resignation. "Fine, she can go. However, if anything happens to her, or _because_ of her, more punishments will be put in place." I didn't know that the Academy could even come up with more punishments, but I wouldn't put it past Kirova to cut off my food supply.

"Thank you", I smiled. "You won't regret it." Alberta answered with an annoyed look.

I looked up at Dimitri as were walking back to the main campus; the others were too occupied with tomorrow's mission of collecting dead bodies to pay attention to Dimitri and I's stolen whispers.

"You shouldn't go tomorrow. It's too dangerous."

"Comrade, all the Strigoi are gone. We're just collecting bodies" and hopefully saving a few, I didn't add.

"You need to rest; you're not an official guardian yet. Why rush the demanding life, you'll be graduating in a few months." Why was he acting this way?

"Do you think I can't handle it? Am I not prepared?"

"Of course not, _Roz-_" I cut him off before he could finish defending himself.

"I'm going back to my room to _rest."_

"Rose, please." I did not look back as I stormed off to my room.

* * *

Just as I was stepping into a long needed shower, I felt her agony slam into me, hard. _Lissa_. I doubled over from the sudden emotions coursing through me, I

tried to get a mental grip on her. But her thoughts were shifting from one thing to another so quickly that I couldn't grasp anything – except…_No! Christian!_I

had forgotten about him in the heat of battle, I was supposed to be protecting him! He hadn't been among the lucky few who had escaped and made it back to

the safety of the academy. I had been so preoccupied with Dimitri and getting back to safety that Christian had totally left my mind. I had failed him. Now he

was dead – or maybe not... Alberta had said that a few could have miraculously pulled through and still be alive. But even as I clung to that string of a hope

another string of doubt thread its way through my brain. Reminding me of the way Dimitri had looked at me with such sadness and doubt. He hadn't forgotten

about Christian, he knew. That's why he was acting so strange about me going back to the caves. He didn't think I couldn't handle seeing my dead superiors,

he thought I couldn't handle seeing Christian. He _knew_ that Christian was dead, and it was because of me.


	2. Chapter 2: Hate?

_Hi guys! I really hope you're enjoying my story! This next chapter is about Lissa's reaction towards Christian's disappearance, will she do something rash? Read and find out! Pleeeease R&R! _

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, unfortunately **

I quickly redressed and sprinted out of my dorm and across the quad. I barely noticed the melting ice seeping between my toes as I ran up the stairs to Lissa's dorm.

"Miss Hathaway what on earth are you doing here this late?" I glanced at Alberta and had to resist a snarky comment and an eye roll.

"Lissa, she's… she's upset" I couldn't bring myself to clarify that she was upset over her boyfriend's untimely death.

Alberta gave me a knowing look, "Rose, there's nothing you can do. I know you blame yourself but you shouldn't. Christian knew what he was getting himself into when he went on the rescue mission. You were preoccupied with saving other people."

"But-"

"You can't save everyone Rose, the sooner you accept it the better." I nodded at that last comment, attempting take make her believe that I actually listened to that bullshit. _Can't save everyone_, my ass.

"Is there a possibility that Christian might still be alive?" I already knew the answer before she even got the chance to speak. Her face took on the same grave look she had possessed earlier this evening when talking about going back to collect bodies. "I don't believe Christian could survive a Strigoi attack on his own, but there might be a possibility." She said those last words without really believing them.

"Thanks", I nervously looked at the ground not knowing how to ask my next question. "Can I go check on Lissa? I know I'm still on probation but she needs me, like _really_ needs me right now." Alberta gave me a small smile, "I think you would find a way to get to her whether I gave you permission or not." I smiled in relief, I was already half way down Lissa's hall before I could finish saying thanks.

* * *

"I tri-"

"I don't care what you did Rose! He's gone and _you_ were the one who convinced him he could battle Strigoi. Why would you let him go after creatures _you_ knew he couldn't destroy?! _You _let him die! _You _took him away from me!" Each time she had referenced me in her tyrant had been with venom I didn't know she possessed. I had been trying to defend myself with words that I didn't want to accept either for over an hour now. I did blame myself for Christian being gone, but Lissa wasn't allowing me to talk, at all.

"Liss-"

"_Shutup_"

"Listen to me!" I shrieked. "There's a possibility that Christian's not dead! If you would just be quite for one second and let me speak, I could explain some things to you before you just go assuming that I served your boyfriend up on a hot platter to the Strigoi!" I was breathing heavily at the end of my much-needed speech and Lissa just stared at me unable to speak. Finally.

"Some of the other Guardians are heading back to the caves tomorrow to see if there are any survivors." I didn't think adding "collecting bodies" would help my case. The only answer I got from Lissa was a snuffle.

She had red splotches all over her usually porcelain skin and her eyes were filled with pools of tears that ran down her face and long neck. My anger vanished within seconds.

"Oh Liss," I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders and stroked her hair.

"I'm never going to talk to him again or kiss him or hear his", gasp, "laugh"

"_Yes you will"_, I told her fiercely. I felt doubt prickle through her.

"You're lying to me Rose, I'm not stupid." I couldn't piece together my next set of half lying but comforting words before she spoke again.

"I can hear it in your voice. You know he's dead." She was accusing me again. Not good.

"Liss-"

"No! I don't want to hear you lie to me anymore," she launched herself off the bed and swung her arms around violently in an attempt at removing my arm from her shoulder. It worked.

"Lissa, I'm not lying. We can get him back. We _will_ get him back, I promise." I was just making her angrier with every word .

"Get out," she growled.

"Lissa, please!"

"I said _get out!" _I wasn't backing down easily, and she knew that. So, she spat out what she knew would hit home and probably not only make me leave, but storm out in a raged infused fury.

"I _hate_ you, Rose" I just looked at her, slack jawed. I was in so much shock because I could feel everything she was feeling and she really meant it, at this moment she…she hated me.

"O-okay, I'll leave." I said in a meek, not very Rose Hathaway sort of way.

When I closed the door behind me, I could feel an inkle of regret trickle through her, but not enough to stop me.

* * *

My feet were numb. _Fuck_, why didn't I take two extra seconds to throw on some slippers before going over to Lissa's?

It was snowing and white flakes were collecting on my dark hair. It was two pm so the sun was out, unlike everyone else. Seeing the sun out just reminded me of our mantra, _they come first. _

Lissa hadn't even asked me if I was okay from the battle. I didn't even cross her mind. I mean, yeah, I'm a complete badass, but still. I could have been hurt. She didn't ask me if my mother, Dimitri or even if Alberta had made it back okay. For all she knew Dimitri could have been turned Strigoi and she didn't take the time to ask or even _care. _

I didn't have time to complete my thoughts because I was interrupted by a deep, Russian accent. Dimitri.

"Rose, why are you out? It's almost three; you still have a curfew you know." I could tell by his tone of voice that he was smiling.

"Why, Guardian Belikov, I was just taking a midnight stroll." I turned around to face him and took a step forward to find myself stepping into a slush of snow, and, embarrassingly slipping.

I was preparing myself for an ass covered in ice, but before I could slam into the sidewalk, Dimitri caught me. I looked up at him, getting a weird sense of déjà vu from our first encounter together last fall.

I studied him, he was thinking the same thing. "You're so beautiful Roza."

I just stared back at him in response. Suddenly remembering our time spent together in the cabin together only yesterday, I felt heat course through me. I wanted him again. And I knew he wanted me too.

He helped me to my feet while still keeping me in his arms.

"I thought we were going to lay off each other until I graduated," I said breathlessly. "We can't be having se-ex every day at the academy," I cursed myself for stumbling over the word sex. What was I? Twelve? No, but I was a seventeen year old girl who had just lost her virginity to her twenty four year old mentor. Shit.

Dimitri was still staring at me, unaware of my inner dialogue.

"Of course we can," he gave me a seductive grin, trailed his hand down my back to the bottom of my ass, and outlined the curve of it lightly with his finger.

We were making eye contact and it became too much for me. I felt like I was going to explode! I moved away from him, still breathing heavily.

"Someone could see," I told him regretfully. He just looked at me with lust in his eyes.

Dimitri walked towards me, not stopping until the tips of his shoes lined up with my frozen toes.

He leaned down so that his lips were practically attached to my ear and whispered, "Tonight I'll dream about you. I'll dream about the way you smell and how your dark hair feels like silk between my fingers. I'll dream about the smoothness of your skin and the fierceness of your lips when we kiss."

The only thing I could come up with to say, while those heated words were still swirling around in my ear was, "You better, comrade."

_Pleeease R&R! Tell me if you like it so far or if you have any suggestions to add to the plot. In the next chapter, Rose and some other guardians will head back up to the caves to recover some bodies. Will they find Christian?_


	3. Chapter 3: Breathless

_Hi everyone! I really hope you're enjoying my story so far! Pleeease give me some feedback, it'll be greatly appreciated, thanks! _

It was hard to block Lissa out that night, her emotions were ruthless and her pain unbearable through the bond. I couldn't even start to imagine how they felt to her, first hand.

After what seemed like hours of twisting and turning in my sheets I finally fell asleep, but my dreams didn't bring much comfort.

It was dark, and when I say dark, I mean pitch black can't see your own arm raised in front of you dark.

I tried to grasp my surroundings by squinting, but even my advanced dhampire vision couldn't make out a speck of light.

I shuffled my feet hoping to get a feel for where I was, at least. Nothing. _Shit._

I decided against my better judgment to say something, "You know I'm not afraid of the dark." Someone chuckled in response. I tensed when I realized who it was, Christian. I was about to ask him if he was alive or not but he spoke before I got the chance.

"Such a charmer, Rose," his voice sounded different…colder. Yes, he was mocking me, which was the normal Christian I was used to, but…something was off.

"You smell like Belikov."

"I wh-what?!" What the hell was that supposed to mean and how could he smell me?

"You're…romantically involved with him, aren't you? I've been noticing the way you guys act around each other, for a while now."

"You're…you're wrong," I couldn't think of anything else to say. I was still stuck on the whole smelling Dimitri on me thing.

"I can hear your heartbeat. You're lying to me."

Okay, _wow_, now we were getting into severely creepy Christian mode.

"Christian, look, I don't know where you're getting this bullshit from but you know it's not true," I really hope my voice didn't quaver, I could feel him staring at me. My eyes still weren't adjusted to the light, so my attempts at looking around for an exit were pointless.

"I'm a lot of things, Rose, but stupid isn't one of them," he sneered. Why was he acting so strange? "Stop looking for an exit," he added abruptly.

"Alright, _buddy_, stop acting so freakin' weird it's- wait, how did you know I was looking around? I can't see anything so I know that you, for sure, can't see anything." I was answered with silence. I expected him to come up with some snarky Christian comeback, but all I heard for another thirty seconds was silence.

It was starting to make me more than uncomfortable; it was making me _scared, _but that was ridiculous, this was Christian for crying out loud.

I was proved wrong when I felt a piercing pain on the side of my neck.

* * *

I was roughly shaken awake by an agitated Alberta, "You wanted to come on this mission so badly and you didn't even think to set an alarm!"

Relief flooded through me, Christian wasn't a Strigoi! My subconscious had just wanted to torment me last night.

Now that I was over the fact that my best friend's boyfriend wasn't a part of the undead club, I had to deal with Alberta, a very pissed off Alberta.

I looked up at her, still groggy, "Sorry?" she didn't looked very pleased with my response.

"Get dressed Hathaway. We leave in fifteen minutes, with or without you." _Geez_

"Alright, alright," I mumbled as I threw my comforter off me, exposing my bare legs. I usually only slept in a t-shirt and underwear. Alberta was still looking at me.

"What…?" I asked slowly, trying to piece together why she was staring at me so oddly.

"You're lucky, I almost sent Guardian Belikov up here to get you."

It took me a second to understand why she was saying that I was "lucky" because she came up to my room to retrieve me instead of Dimitri.

Then it clicked. A normal teenage girl would be embarrassed if her Russian god of a mentor saw her half-naked. I obviously didn't care if he saw me _completely _naked but, I hope it wasn't too obvious to Alberta.

"Oh!" I tried to mock surprise and embarrassment, "of course! That would suck," I threw in a thin-lipped smile to try to tie the lie together.

Alberta bought it, maybe, probably not.

"Okay, Miss Hathaway, we'll be waiting at the gates. Hurry" I could tell she was trying not to think too much about our awkward exchange.

* * *

Cold air was ripping apart my lungs as I jogged towards the academy's gates. My mother, Dimitri, Alberta, Stan and two other guardians I didn't know the names of stood, waiting for me.

"Are we just going to stand here or are we going to collect some bodies," I flinched as the words left my mouth, not realizing how harsh they sounded before they escaped my mouth.

"Sorry," I added quickly.

_I am not going to say anything else, unless I proofread it first_, I promised myself silently.

"Yes…we should get going," Dimitri broke the awkward silence, always my savior.

We broke off into a fast jog towards the caves that we had run from only yesterday.

I quickened my pace so I could be next to Dimitri.

"Couldn't remember to set an alarm, Rose?" He laughed despite the running and harsh weather.

"Hey! I'm surprised you could even get up this morning, you must've been exhausted from that erotic dream you had last night. _Tonight I'll dream about you. I'll dream about the way you smell and how your dark hair feels like silk between my fingers. I'll dream about the smoothness of your skin and the fierceness of your lips when we kiss_," I quoted him.

He didn't respond, or even look at me. He just kept running.

Then I noticed it. A flare of scarlet was making its way up his neck and it definitely wasn't from the warm weather.

"You're blushing!" I gasped, _holy shit!_ I didn't know he was capable of the feelings a blush usually ensued…he was embarrassed from the heated words he had whispered to me last night.

It was adorable.

I elbowed him in the side, giggling.

"Rose! Leave Guardian Belikov alone," the annoying voice of my mother interrupted my happiness.

I glanced back, groaning, "Talk to you later," Dimitri gave a curt node in response; he was strictly back in guardian mode.

I slowed my pace so that I was running next to Janine.

"Why'd you do that? We were just talking,"

"Because, we're here."

* * *

"Since the Strigoi are obviously not here anymore, we need to make a plan," all of Alberta's light heartedness from earlier was gone. "Rose, Dimitri, you two look for survivors. Janine, Emil and I will look in the right tunnel for bodies and the rest of you look in the left tunnel," everyone agreed solemnly.

The violent events of last night were coming back to me, and I realized how lucky I was that I was standing here helping with the body count, instead of being a part of it.

"Are you okay?" I had been so engrossed with my thoughts that I hadn't noticed Dimitri looking at me.

"Yeah, of course," that was my instinct reply and Dimitri knew it.

"Roza…"

"Do you think the Strigoi could have made Christian like…like one of them?" The thought of Christian actually being turned Strigoi was unfathomable, but my dream from last night was still tugging at the back of my brain.

Dimitri didn't answer right away. Not a good sign.

"Probably not, but if they recognized him as an Ozera, then they might. Just to mock us." It made me sick thinking that Christian being turned Strigoi was just a punch line of some joke.

After picking through various bodies; Moroi, Strigoi and guardians alike, we still hadn't found Christian and I was starting to worry, like_ really worry. _

If Lissa couldn't handle the thought of Christian possiblybeing dead, how on earth was she going to handle Christian being a Strigoi?

"That's the last of them," Emil interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you sure? We still haven't found Christian Ozera."

"I guess he really was destined to become Strigoi," Stan added morosely.

"Don't say that!" I shrieked, "We still don't know for sure, he might have survived or he's in the woods somewhere or-or," my breath was coming in short bursts and I could feel hot tears starting to leak from eyes. It wasn't just Lissa's emotions seeping into me, I cared about him, he was my friend, and it was my fault he had succumbed to a fate worse than death.

* * *

Kirova told me I didn't have to be the one to deliver the news to Lissa, and I almost took her up on it, recalling last night's argument with her, but I had to be brave.

I stopped at her door, trying to conjure up the courage to knock. Right now she still had a little hope for Christian, hope that I was about to obliterate into a million pieces.

I cleared my throat and lightly knocked, "Lissa?" I heard her slide off the bed and come to the door. She slowly creaked it open and peeked out at me.

"Where is he?"

"Lissa, I'm not telling you anything unless you let me in." She considered whether letting me in was worth knowing about Christian or not. _Geez, how bad was I?_

After I convinced her to let me sit on the bed next to her, I broke the news.

The tear-enraged fury that I thought I was going to receive didn't happen.

Lissa looked up at me, emotionless, "Okay."

"Okay?" I asked, bewildered.

"Okay"

"Lissa, I don't know what to say I…I can't do anything about it. I'm sorry."

"I know that you can't do anything, Rose. It's okay, go to bed."

"What? No! Let me be here for you Lissa," it was driving me crazy, knowing that I couldn't take this pain away from her, the bond could only do so much.

"You need to rest, goodnight Rose."

"Fine…I'll leave, if that's what you really want," I looked up at her hoping she would tell me to stay. Hell, I was hoping she'd tell me anything. She was blocking the bond and it was driving me insane.

"Wait – why are you blocking the bond?" She finally showed some emotion on her face, "I'm not. I don't feel anything. Christian took my soul with him. I'm gone, Rose. Goodnight," and with that she shut the door; leaving me torn apart and breathless, by her words.


	4. Chapter 4: Shower

_Hi everybody! I would like to thank my very awesome reviewer's hiseask17, and roza m belicov! I love that you guys are enjoying and actually reading my story! I would loooove some more people to review and give me some more feedback! _

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy **

Being stuck in my room until Monday morning was going to be torture, especially without being able to feel Lissa. It was like having my right arm amputated. It scared the hell out of me, not being able to tell if she was okay or not. What I really didn't understand was what she meant by, "I don't feel anything." How was that possible? A person must feel something if their boyfriend was unwillingly turned into a blood sucking creature of the night. Well, more than he already was.

As the night went on, I continued to feel nothing. I didn't even get a quiver of relief when she went to sleep…it was just a blank canvas, that was Lissa's new mind.

After a few hours of attempting, and failing, to reach Lissa I realized that I hadn't slept for about twenty hours and that I had an early training session with Dimitri.

I swung my legs off my bed and firmly planted my feet on the hard carpet of my dorm room. I reached my arms above my head and felt tiny pinpricks of pain when my elbows cracked in unison.

I had been too busy thinking about Lissa the past couple of days to even give myself a second thought.

I glanced at myself in the mirror. My usual beauty was skewed from dark circles underneath my eyes and what looked like a growing, permanent crease between my eyebrows. I had a few small, red cuts on my arms crusted with dried blood, and my hands were covered in blisters and scabs. I was becoming what I had worried about earlier in the year, only I hadn't thought it would start happening until I was well into my twenties. If I looked like this after my first battle, what would I look like after my third or, hell, my tenth battle?

I sighed, hoping that I would look better after a long, hot shower and a blow dry.

When I already had all my clothes off and the water was nice and steamy, waiting for me, I heard a knock at the door.

I didn't react immediately in hopes of whoever it was would go away. They didn't.

I threw on my robe with a sigh and headed for my door. I wasn't expecting who I found waiting for me.

"Dimitri?"

"Rose."

"…What are you doing here? I mean, not that I'm not all for you making a guest appearance, it's just late and you shouldn't be seen talking to me outside my room at three in the morning," I said in one breath, suddenly aware of how close we were standing. His chest was steadily rising up and down as he breathed, how could something so normal, be so beautiful?

"You're worth it, Roza." The way he said _Roza_ made heat spread to every inch of my body.

"Do you want to come in?" He answered by swiftly walking past me and into the room. When I shut the door behind him, I realized how isolated I felt with him in here, with me. It reminded me of being in the cabin with him. We didn't have time for that right now…did we?

Dimitri looked over at my bathroom, noticing the running shower, he said, "I shouldn't have come, I didn't think." He was looking around the room, obviously nervous.

"No, it's alright. Did you have something to tell me? Any news on Christian?" He only answered me with more awkward glances around the room.

"Dimitri…is everything alright?" He was starting to kind of freak me out.

"I shouldn't have come," he repeated, "I'll leave." He rushed for the door, making it in two long strides. His tall, broad frame looked silly in my small dorm room.

I grabbed his arm before he could leave, "Stay, please." I whispered. He looked down at me with his dark eyes. "What about your shower?" A brave idea popped into my head, and before I could think though my next words, they were already out of my mouth, "Why don't you join me?" An unexpected smile curved his lips.

"I would love to."

I was usually confident when doing this type of stuff, but being with Dimitri was different. How do I shower with a _guy?_ How did it even work? I guess I would find out soon because Dimitri swept me up, and carried me bridal style to the waiting shower.

He set me down and my feet met the cool tile floor of the bathroom. We just stared at each other for a few seconds, before he crashed his lips down onto mine.

They were warm and we moved fluidly against each other.

His hands roamed all over my body until he found the end of my shirt and effortlessly tugged it up over my head. I shivered, despite the humidity in the room caused by the shower.

Dimitri stopped abruptly, "Did I hurt you?" He asked with fear laced in his voice.

"No! Of course not I'm just…" How was I supposed to tell this incredibly sexy man standing in front of me that I was insecure. Especially, when I had nothing to be insecure about. I had slept with him only a couple of days ago for crying out loud!

"Roza, we don't have to do anything tonight. You're tired, I can tell." I looked up at Dimitri, and I could see that he meant every word he had just said.

I answered him by practically tearing off his t-shirt.

_Okay guys this is where the M rated scene starts, so if it makes you uncomfortable just skip it and look for where I say it ends, thanks!_

I trailed my fingers down his sculpted chest and hooked my fingers on the waist of his jeans. I brushed my thumb against the faint trail of hair that leads down to his crotch. I heard a deep moan vibrate through him, and that was all it took for me unbutton his pants and shove them down to his ankles, revealing the growing tent in his boxers. However, before I could touch him, he reached his arms around me, making me feel small and unclasped my bra.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured in my ear.

He ran his hands up my waist and teasingly brushed his thumbs against my hardening nipples. I gasped in pleasure.

I pressed my body against his, wanting more of him. I wanted to devour his warm body. I wanted him inside of me, _now._

Once we had finally gotten rid of all of our clothes, we just stood in front of each other, naked.

"I still can't seem to get over how hot you are, Comrade." He laughed heartily and said, "I still can't seem to get over how sexy you are, Roza." And then he kissed me. Hard.

After our kisses lasted about five minutes, he scooped me up and carried me into the shower.

The water stung my back and made my hair into a wet mop. We both laughed when some of the water found its way past my scalp and dripped onto my nose and forehead.

Dimitri cupped my chin with his large hands, and lifted my face up so we were looking at each other dead on.

"You make me feel alive, Roza. When I look at you the world around us goes blurry and all I can think…or even see is you, my beautiful Roza."

"Dimitri…there's nothing I can say that would compare to what you just said, but I want you to know that I love you." I took a deep breath, "I've been thinking about what happened to Christian and how Lissa's reacting it's…it's terrible. I don't know how to make her feel better or even make her feel anything at all."

"You couldn't have done anything about Christian, and maybe Lissa needs to learn how to get through things on her own."

"Wow, there you go again with your Zen wisdom," I smiled.

Dimitri replied by kissing my jaw; any thoughts of Lissa or Christian were quickly dismissed from my head.

I backed up against the slick, shower wall and Dimitri picked me up so I had my legs wrapped around his waist. He rubbed his hips against mine and I felt his member rub up against my wet, entrance. I gasped in – _pain. _

_Okay, this is the end of the M scene. I know they didn't have sex or anything and that it was really short, but trust me, there is more to come ;)_

Dimitri immediately released me, thinking he had done something wrong.

I doubled over, feeling like a floodgate of emotions that had been begging to be released, had gotten their wish.

Dimitri turned off the shower and kneeled down in front of me, which was hard to do considering we were in a bathtub.

"Rose, Rose, tell me what's wrong, are you hurt?"

I desperately wanted to answer him. To tell him everything was okay, but I couldn't.

All the information that Lissa had been keeping from me was pouring into my brain, making me incapable of forming words.

Lissa had been lying, when she said she couldn't feel anything. How had I fallen for that?

She had said that so I wouldn't have known her plan.

Her plan to run away from the Academy; to hunt down Christian and kill him.

By herself.


	5. Chapter 5: Forign STD

_I'd like to thank everyone who's been reading my story! Pleeeease review some more, I'd love any type of feedback!_

Sitting in a bathrobe next to Dimitri in Kirova's office, was not the way I had envisioned my Saturday night. I shouldn't have let it surprise me, because lately, nothing was happening the way I envisioned.

"How do I know I'm not being used as some pawn in your scheme to escape the Academy, yet again?" I didn't think pointing out that I had had plenty of opportunities to leave, because of her poor headmistress skills, would help me. So, instead I went with flattery.

"Ms. Kirova, I think you would see through one of my teenage plans to ditch school, wouldn't you?" Okay maybe that was more sarcasm than flattery.

"Stop speaking, Miss Hathaway." Wow, _harsh._

Ms. Kirova, we have strong reason to believe Rose. She has had subpar behavior these past months, and I no longer think she wishes to leave the Academy.

I curled my fingers on the edge of my armrest, becoming more and more irritated as the minutes passed. Each moment I wasn't with Lissa, she came closer to death.

How could she leave the Academy without me? If she had just told me what she wanted to do, I would have come with her, and protected her.

The thing that baffled me most was that she planned to kill Christian _herself_. No Moroi would be able to do that, even a trained one. It wasn't physically possible, and from what I gathered from the bond, she didn't understand that. She thought that her love would be enough to convince him to let her kill him. I felt terrible for Lissa, but I would not let her do this to herself. Christian might be "dead" but that didn't mean she had to become his zombie bride, for crying out loud.

I couldn't handle it anymore.

"This is ridiculous, why are we just sitting here?! We need to be looking for Lissa! I wouldn't lie about something so serious, you know that!" I directed my last outburst at Dimitri.

"I was with Rose when she felt Lissa's whereabouts through the bond. She wouldn't be able to fake that emotion, or pain." He glanced over while saying the last part, clearly still worried about me.

"What do you mean you were with Rose? It's the middle of the night." Her questioning was coming too close to our heavily guarded secret.

While I quickly attempted to make up an excuse, Dimitri was ready with one. I assumed preplanned, by the ingenious of it.

"I was guarding Rose's hall and I heard screaming from her room," he said this as though it was obvious, and his bulging biceps and rolling r's debauched Kirova.

She gave me one last glance of annoyance and said, "Well, I will need to send a group of guardians to find the Princess. Guardian Belikov, please recruit Petrov and Alto. You will not need a lot of backup to find the Princess, especially without Hathaway assisting her." Of course, she had to end with an insult towards me.

"I'm going with them," I spoke with force.

"There is no need," Kirova shot back.

"Actually, there is." Kirova and I both looked surprised to hear Dimitri counter her, albeit, my surprise was love struck and hers was more dragon lady-esc.

Dimitri rapidly tried to make his words sound polite by explaining his interruption, "Rose and Vasilisa have the bond. She will be able to find her much more quickly than I, or any other guardian can." Dimitri even suggested a romantic getaway, "I will not need the assistance of Guardians Petrov and Alto if Rose is allowed to accompany me." Kirova glared at him skeptically, which caused him to explain in further detail, "After the Strigoi attack, we need all Guardians available to be on campus." Bingo, even Kirova couldn't muster an argument against Dimitri's logic.

"Fine, Miss Hathaway can go. Now leave," she said, flustered.

Dimitri and I both stood up and I followed behind him, my eyes only reaching the middle of his back.

Once we were out of Kirova's range of hearing or seeing, I quickly walked slightly passed him so that I was in front. I stopped and turned on my heel, making him falter in his long strides.

We were so close; when I tilted my chin up towards his face to talk to him, I brushed against his thin t-shirt.

"Nice plan, Comrade," I said, hopefully seductively.

He smiled down at me, but something about him was off, "What's wrong?"

"About earlier…it was stupid," he noticed my face turn incredulous, "_No _that's not what I meant! I will never regret my time spent with you, Roza." I sighed with relief and ran my hands slowly up his chest. When I reached the collar of his t-shirt I twisted it around my fingers and lightly tugged him down, so that we were at eye-level.

Our breathing was in harmony and his skin felt like silk beneath my fingers. We had not had an uninterrupted moment since the cabin, yet again reiterating _they come first. _

I pulled away; Lissa was making her way back into my mind. What I wanted right now didn't matter, my feelings were miniscule compared to her.

I straightened myself, looking at Dimitri as though he were my partner, not my lover.

"When do we leave?"

"We should leave now…Rose, is everything alright?" He was looking at me strangely, which caused a small crease to form between his eyebrows. Was it possible for him not to be so _damn_ cute for ten seconds?

"I get distracted when I'm with you. I can't think or process anything, except that you're with me. God, Dimitri, even your breathing distracts me. How am I supposed to find Lissa with you? I mean, no offense, but you're just too beautiful for your own good," I chuckled dryly.

He held me in a steady gaze, looking like he knew something I didn't.

"You are so much more than you think. I look at you and I see beauty and strength, there is something in you, you cannot see yet. Roza, you would be able to save the whole world blind folded. Don't doubt yourself, ever." His dark eyes were still holding me captive and I couldn't breathe, so much as come up with a response. He spoke as if he was writing a book, and it killed me. It felt as though he had a hold of my heart and he was twisting and twisting, waiting to see how far he could go before I burst open and bled to death in front of him.

"Meet me at the gates in an hour," he said, stepping away. "And Roza," he added, "We'll find her. Now hurry," and with that he was gone.

* * *

I wasn't expecting to run into anyone while walking across the quad at this time of day, but I wasn't so lucky.

"Little dhampir!" _Why? _I do not have time for Adrian right now. I kept walking, hoping he would fall for the whole "Oops, I didn't hear you! No! Of course, I wasn't ignoring you!" He didn't. Typical.

"Rose! Hey! Wait up! We need to talk," _geez, _couldn't he take a hint?

"Where the hell is Lissa?" Obviously not.

I sighed, "I don't exactly know"

"What do you mean, 'don't exactly know'?"

"Well," I scoffed, "I have no idea."

"You must have some sort of idea, with the bond and all."

"Please, explain to me what 'and all' is, Adrian. I'm curious." He didn't respond, just kept walking with me towards my dorm.

"Alright, look, I can't feel anything through the bond right now. She's blocking me. I haven't the faintest idea where she is and it's killing me. Hopefully it will only take Dimitri and me a few days, God forbid weeks, to find her." He suddenly stopped walking.

"Oh no, don't tell me you and cradle-robber are going by _yourselves _to find Lissa."

I glanced back at him with a half-smile, "I am neither confirming nor denying."

"Great," he called after me, "Try to actually come back with Lissa and not a foreign STD!" I tried not to smile as I jogged up the stairs of my dorm.

* * *

I didn't know how long we were going to be gone, so I grabbed a few miscellaneous items that I would use on a weekend trip.

While I was walking down the hall, I remembered that I had forgotten my toothbrush. That would have been gross, especially for Dimitri.

Just as I was about to unlock my door I felt her. Lissa.

She was trying to sleep, in a small, cramped bed. However, her terror was keeping her wide-awake.

Her thoughts were swarming, but the thing that stuck out was her regret. She was realizing how stupid she had been for leaving the Academy, now knowing that she could not protect herself from the dark.

I was trying to sift through her thoughts to find her location, but there was nothing there…odd.

Then she turned on her side, peering at the person next to her.

Person next to her? What the hell, Lissa?

Then I realized it, she was not in some dingy hotel room in Montana. She was on a plane, leaving the country, fast. Moreover, I had no idea which country she was going.

It would definitely take more than a weekend trip to save Lissa.

I couldn't stop the little voice inside of me whispering, _more time alone with Dimitri._

_Thanks for reading! Pleeeease review, any type of feedback helps tons! :)_


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